23Aug '10

Rainbows and Ice-Cream

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Typically, this blog is all rosy and sunny. Generally, that’s who I am. I have actually been told it can be a weakness of mine, seeing the world through rainbow colored glasses.

So, someone asked me the other day to blog about a bad day.

My bad days tend to go like this – I eat, I call my friend Lisa and have a cry and I tell John all the things we need to do to make it all better( this is done irrationally and by blowing things way out of proportion) – John listens.

Then, I either go to the gym, or if I don’t, I eat more. Then, I move on.

When something challenging happens, particularly in my personal life, I start trying to control things by making backup plan after backup plan in my head. Plan A, B and C are ready for action and I prep my super-hero cape.

I am however, getting better, at letting it go and realizing that if I roll with the tide, most likely I won’t crash into a rock.

A few weeks ago, I hurt my ankle. John was away at work and the kids were all at their other parents. After an emotional call to my pal Corrie for medical advice, and an incoherent call to Lisa, I sat and stewed then went to emergency for some help. They told me I needed three weeks to heal. You can imagine my anxiety as I tried to figure out what I would do. I sat in bed stressing and stewing – people were counting on me. I got up and ate out of the tub of ice cream – so cliche.
I have covered for other photographers who have had emergencies, but never need to call in backup myself.
I made a plan. I rested, rested, and rested. When the next wedding came I didn’t think once about the ankle. I think it actually made me a better photographer that day, because there was no flippin way my stubborn self was going to let it impact my work. Then I came home and rested, until the next wedding came.

All good right?

Not so much. In the meantime, my office work fell behind, just a bit, and mainly just the blogging and other goals I had set for August. Yet it seemed huge in my mind. 

Seems like no big deal right?

But…. but… but.. I am never behind. Truth be told, I am usually way ahead of the game. With a family the size of ours, and the nature of our busy life, it is the only way for me to work. If I fall behind I fall apart. 

On top of it  I haven’t been able to go to exercise (which is like therapy for me,)
I have eaten way too much ice cream and I have a pair of tight pants to prove it.

The blessings have been the amazing sessions I have. Putting my camera up to my eye and having fabulous people in front of it, is just like putting on rainbow colored glasses. For me, while shooting, everything else drops away and the moment overtakes me.
I also realize I have gotten better at letting things go, and reminding myself, my best is all I can do.

I am behind in blog posts, and album creation and thank those of you that are waiting patiently. 

This week feels like things are getting back on track and I am hopeful that I can kick the ice-cream to the curb and head to the gym instead.

This rainbow greeted me as I drove home from a wedding on Saturday.

Thank you.