I am someone who resides in a place of gratitude, my rose colour glasses are never far and often stay stubbornly on, even when the sun is gone. But 2014, I wasn’t a fan. As I sit here with my morning coffee, (for which I am very grateful,) scrolling through my Facebook feed looking at comments of those you knocked down, and reflecting, I have to say to you, 2014, “good riddance!”
You took the people that I love , my clients and my friends, and gave many of them more then they thought they could take. You brought injury and unwelcome change.
You pushed people far out of their comfort zone, usually something I would applaud you for, but you did it hard and fast and I am still questioning that approach. You left us saying goodbye to people we needed, like Christine’s mom, who had cancer sneak up on her quickly.
This isn’t my first rough year. Not even close, there have been those that brought more challenges. This year, though, as the landscape around me changed, and things shifted inside of me – I thought and I felt maybe too much?
I headed towards heavy questions about my role in this life, a crisis of faith might be a way some would describe it. I felt fatigue deeper then ever before and darkness crept around me at times in a way that was new to me.
I like to be aware – so I took every bit in, all the sadness , and at times it left me too confused.
But in that awareness, with the help of my camera, I was also not able to block out the shine of those in front of my camera. So there was balance.
So as I go forward into 2015, all of you that gave me the gift of sharing yourself with me, well you are coming with me – packaged as joy, gratitude, strength and humanity.
Those moments I witnessed between you, as you shared an inside joke in front of my camera, or when you looked at me and gave me a part of yourself, those are inside me and they made the difference. As I write this, it makes me smile.
2014 of course had some ridiculously joyful moments, and some incredible memories were made. I am often teased for always seeing the good, and in this time of pinterest perfection, I think it is important to stand up, be genuine, and say…. wow…. that almost knocked me down.
So, 2014, you took a big swipe at me and the people I love. But I still have chocolate, music, love, my health, humour, my camera, community and connection.
Thanks for schooling me, but see you later – your time is done.
Just a few of the many, many moments that kept me singing in 2014 –